tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43852065235441271052024-03-05T21:38:14.693+09:00mentaliefrench kissing your indelicate earsmentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-2327092539200774272010-06-13T07:03:00.005+09:002010-06-14T12:10:43.106+09:00yup, i think i’ll morph into ken.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it could be the recent spate of advertising for glowing white armpits, or the last hour i spent googling rhinoplasty procedures, or the fact that i haven’t had sex for…oh, lets just say i can officially declare myself a virgin again, but i’ve had this feeling creeping up on me for awhile now. this feeling that i can be perfected. subject to fine print and certain inescapable realities of life, of course (like the fact that i haven’t managed to grow a pair of boobs in 32 years, which effectively nixes my chances of morphing into barbie). after contemplating for a long, long time on the possibility of perfection that the cosmesuitical industry argues for so persistently when i turn on the tv (oh come on, you should take a break from the worldcup too), after fantasizing for ages about what it would be like to be sweat-less, odor-less, hairless, blemish-less, zit-less, t-zone-less, stretchmark-less, snout-less, cellulite-less, wrinkle-less, i have reached the conclusion that there is only one perfect material in the world and we are not made of it. plastic. plastic is perfect, whereas people are porous. so i’m seriously thinking of getting myself redone in it. with pearly whites and baby blues and perpetually arched eyebrows and a super slick hairdo and permanently flexed pecs and perennially taut glutes and an urbane plastic bump where my genitalia used to be. you can help me decide one last thing - should i go blonde, or brunette?</span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image sources: <a href="http://www.cnbc.com/">www.cnbc.com</a>, <a href="http://www.brooklynstars-forever.blogspot.com/">www.brooklynstars-forever.blogspot.com</a></span></i><br />
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</span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-91940028259008066882010-05-29T01:19:00.006+09:002010-05-29T01:36:33.812+09:00doing the hurly burly<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiOBU4IfGk0lWq0Y1UR19itTCZh-G7IkKLEsyphutM7vnUeeT31BR5BH1Itk9nddMlU4d1j9trMLo4RZhx5NzYY4AQ_qR48NN4eJxg6uiDDQzm3B8vHAeUPzbSTH3JrsXbye2tD7osCq2e/s1600/popartuk1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiOBU4IfGk0lWq0Y1UR19itTCZh-G7IkKLEsyphutM7vnUeeT31BR5BH1Itk9nddMlU4d1j9trMLo4RZhx5NzYY4AQ_qR48NN4eJxg6uiDDQzm3B8vHAeUPzbSTH3JrsXbye2tD7osCq2e/s400/popartuk1.jpg" width="315" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">perhaps its the can of creamed corn i had for lunch today, but as the time for dinner draws nearer, my belly’s beginning to bubble and rumble and i’m overcome with memories. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there was a morning many years ago, when my loving mother made me a papaya milk shake. ever had one? if you have and managed to keep it down, i salute you. mine parted company with me about two sips down, much to my mother’s disappointment. she told me that i was an ungrateful brat and that my bowels would remain clogged up forever if i didn’t eat more papaya. then she held my hair back while i puked all over her sparkling sofa.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there was also the time i went shopping with the folks at takashimaya in </span><st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">tokyo</span></st1:place></st1:city><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. my folks were always wary of tasting anything handed to them in the japanese food marts. you really never know when they'll hand you an octopus on a toothpick. that afternoon, however, i’d been having a feast at the chocolate and wine aisles. then i turned a corner and found myself holding a small platter of what looked like chopped fruit. ick, i thought and looked around for the nearest bin. but the little white uniformed lady who’d handed me the platter stood in my way smiling expectantly. cursing myself for getting cornered into eating fruit, i speared a couple of yellow and orange chunks on my toothpick and popped them into my mouth. the next minute i vomited exorcist style all over the pristine little lady. chocolate and wine and erm, all the sushi i've ever eaten.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a few years later, my friend K and i staggered into a bar in berlin. we were traveling on a student traineeship and perpetually poor and hungry as beggars. the strategy we’d evolved then was to eat a bun for breakfast, a slice of ‘happy meal’ pizza for lunch and the biggest and cheapest thing we could find on the bar menu for dinner. this evening, the cheapest and biggest thing happened to be blutwurst, the fattest sausage we’d ever seen. until we were about half way through, it was also the tastiest. then K – while flirting with the bartender – made the cardinal mistake of asking what it was we were eating. <i>blood sausage</i>, the good man beamed back, <i>pig meat and rice cooked in pig blood and wrapped up in a sausage specially for you!</i> that’s when K nipped her german romance in the bud and came to the loo to be sick with me instead.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">perhaps the worst of my memories is the time my dear polish friend basia served me a bowl of her grandmother’s chicken soup. it was a secret family recipe that had taken her 90 year old grandmum all day to make. <i>for you, the most special bowl</i>, she beamed toothlessly at me. <i>ooh look, it has the neck and leg in it</i>, basia said and showed me. yup, i blew it all over that sweet old woman’s kitchen floor.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ufff. now if you’ll excuse me, i believe my belly would like to have another word.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.popartuk.com/">www.popartuk.com</a></span></i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div></span></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-61278455190616197952010-05-19T04:28:00.013+09:002010-05-19T13:48:06.698+09:00born with the thighs of a racist pig.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbR_uYEHn6nxfFY2PYyQf8_K6EG9SYalWxbvTZHDJGjVDlJhdQokV07w-KmY2Jb0Lj4D0fmIZmS0OVSrYZgXijibVRDPNMFF0IpJYRTTuxp03zQ_UUXfC0ze2g8-ISnEPOPRAtII8UaQN/s1600/legs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
<img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbR_uYEHn6nxfFY2PYyQf8_K6EG9SYalWxbvTZHDJGjVDlJhdQokV07w-KmY2Jb0Lj4D0fmIZmS0OVSrYZgXijibVRDPNMFF0IpJYRTTuxp03zQ_UUXfC0ze2g8-ISnEPOPRAtII8UaQN/s400/legs.jpg" width="282" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a few months ago, my friend L and i set off for our usual afternoon date with the chat walla of punjab sweet house at pali naka. we’d just finished up with a project that kept us swotting for weeks on end and this was our first free afternoon. the plan was to get chat for lunch, then head out for some street shopping along hill road, drop into the mango sale at linking road, come back for a nice cup of tea at office, and then head out again with our cameras to catch the sun set at carter road. or whatever else.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">L and i were in high spirits as we bowled merrily along in the rickshaw. it was the kind of day that began with no agenda and promised to get better with every passing hour.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then we turned a corner and spotted the gaggle of skinny white bitches traipsing along the sunny lanes of pali hill. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">now bandra is a pretty neighbourhood on any given day, and it has its share of beauties and celebrities. but these chicks had the kind of heart stopping goddess-ness that could make you quit breathing altogether. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">they were, without exception, tall and delicious and creamy as frosty glasses of cold coffee. and without exception, they wore breezy little blousons and hot little pants.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and their legs, ohhhh! their legs were so leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean and so loooooooooooooooooooooong. each and every pair of them. all calf muscles and dainty hips and tapering thighs.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">L and i didn’t stand a chance as our rickshaw rattled over the pot holes that murphy had so thoughtfully lined that particular stretch of road with. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">glumly, we surveyed our own thunderous south indian thighs as they shimmied and shook and jiggled gloriously, keeping tempo. they were, without doubt, 100% cellulite.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ufff, what’s with the ex pat infestation! - L muttered bitterly when she finally caught her breath - why don’t they just walk back to where they came from with those perfect legs of theirs!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GAH! yeah, bloody GO HOME, bloody BITCHES! - i spat back.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">yup, i meant it and so did L.</span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: </span><a href="http://www.loona.net/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.loona.net</span></a></i><br />
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</i></span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-72951267368184115192010-05-14T03:21:00.005+09:002010-05-14T15:04:43.873+09:00pliz evakvate!<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IPfm70dsfubmYuWfGK8nh18IUI5FeVIflJFJYnlN4-iNrcGA6mSeh3ExKdq1CQN_NQar-HS70PuHjOtf_XeTwVgDhzjFyowdNCAwAcpjAxWC0WdAEzDg1mzOka9EhnByjRxmQkv8_OU3/s1600/spacesuit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IPfm70dsfubmYuWfGK8nh18IUI5FeVIflJFJYnlN4-iNrcGA6mSeh3ExKdq1CQN_NQar-HS70PuHjOtf_XeTwVgDhzjFyowdNCAwAcpjAxWC0WdAEzDg1mzOka9EhnByjRxmQkv8_OU3/s640/spacesuit.jpg" width="505" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">cyber city, gurgaon is a gleaming futuristic citadel rising out of a dust bowl. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the skyline is cluttered with eclectic angles of glass and chrome megaliths. the buildings rear up fearsomely from the honking traffic jams. the wind hoots eerily through the open panels of construction sites. corporate towers gleam from behind the dusty whirlwind that blows about them through the day. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it is possibly one of the most weird and fantastical landscapes you could ever to go to work to.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in that sense, it’s much like it’s people.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">they gather like pigeons along the walls and walkways after lunch. let’s go get some fresh air, they say, and troop out of their buildings to roost on the concrete surrounding a tiny oasis of landscaped green lawn. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">nobody dares to sit on the grass, and the ones that do are instantly shooed away by the vice president in charge of jay walkers and dog poo.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">managing cyber city is a very important job. every official on that team is a vice president at the very least. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">some are even managing directors, like the cyber city official in charge of fire safety. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this impressive gentleman recently organized one of the most spectacular events i’ve ever been to. it began with a shrill fire alarm and two hypnotically repeated words:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">beep beep beep</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pliz evakvate!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">beep beep beep</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pliz evakvate!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">beep beep beep</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pliz evakvate!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">within a matter of minutes, the managing director of fire drills held his audience of a few thousand employees from surrounding buildings mesmerized. they squinted up at him en masse against the blazing sun.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the managing director did not disappoint us. in addition to his quivering walrus moustache, he presented a long and complex thesis on how to identify the different kinds of fire extinguishers, and executed several spectacularly choreographed demos on the right and wrong way to use them. he gave us a show that even the russian circus could never rival, and he did this with the able assistance of two mentally challenged prop boys who single mindedly focused on getting their fire extinguishers wrong, or holding them upside down. as a grand finale, a firetruck full of fire men charged in and incontinently sprayed a few gallons of water onto the crowd.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">together, they worked the crowd like pros – a giggle that grew into a laugh that grew into a roar, then an encore.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">all along, a man in a silver space suit stood silently by the md’s side. when the drill ended, everyone queued up to take pictures with the mystery man. nobody knew why he was there, nor who he was for that matter. </span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he could have been the vice president of silver spacesuits, of course. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or he could have simply dropped out of the sky like cyber city itself.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: just in case you didn't notice, please read the picture again.</span></i><br />
<i><br />
</i>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-85116940561195974832010-05-10T06:39:00.000+09:002010-05-10T06:39:37.835+09:00if patience is a virtue, she's a slut<div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Dz8CVnOZ1vIeM2GVl_hsSBSPtQHglHOjdaF4O4uCCw7hEz-Q7q5tn5Oxk8uMw7-SIaiMuiH-N80Yad6yMBh51x0L6_5CrpZMgHXxdAPnGOfVQmSC8vZVk74Fqg0_QVjnmo_JJghEdrN2/s1600/valentines_-in_mumbai1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Dz8CVnOZ1vIeM2GVl_hsSBSPtQHglHOjdaF4O4uCCw7hEz-Q7q5tn5Oxk8uMw7-SIaiMuiH-N80Yad6yMBh51x0L6_5CrpZMgHXxdAPnGOfVQmSC8vZVk74Fqg0_QVjnmo_JJghEdrN2/s400/valentines_-in_mumbai1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal">you mean now...?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">yes, now, today, why not?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">but i...i’m not ready yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">you are being really silly, you know.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">i am just not ready, dammit!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">when pray, will you be ready, mr.husband?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">listen, i am not your husband yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">you’re right, you aren’t…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">what are you smiling at?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">that guy in red.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;">wha…why?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black;">you tell me, sweetheart, you tell me.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></span></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-59592807040594155542010-05-03T06:17:00.003+09:002010-05-03T06:28:58.982+09:00mind games<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3K5rLnA8QmXUQVGu4QJmvCj-geePrvSmu4tR-_Egvd1W09xre0ytuzoqNAcytrpwoKjp84j8JkLufiXiWhaJSite0hhX2RQKqdQxfyDKMhHur7X-FN083ZmffgQQQNaOp4pVHwqZCbWWu/s1600/heart+light1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3K5rLnA8QmXUQVGu4QJmvCj-geePrvSmu4tR-_Egvd1W09xre0ytuzoqNAcytrpwoKjp84j8JkLufiXiWhaJSite0hhX2RQKqdQxfyDKMhHur7X-FN083ZmffgQQQNaOp4pVHwqZCbWWu/s400/heart+light1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she hit upon the new plan while driving to work one day.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the traffic light would tell, she decided.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">if it turned green before she counted twenty five, it would all work out.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">if it didn’t, there was the next signal. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and all the ones after that. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there were so many of them, to tell her if she was the one.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she didn’t tell a soul, of course.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">they’d have thought she was crazy. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">not just crazy about him, you understand, stark, raving crazy.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or worse, they’d have felt sorry, changed the subject, laughed it off.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it was so much more fun this way. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">her private little gamble. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">random as the fortune teller’s parrot she’d gotten to know so well. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">another arbitrary attraction to look forward to in desperate times.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">red…</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">one, two, three...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ten…twenty…nooooooooooo!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">red…</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">one, two, three…</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">twenty one…twenty FOUR, TWENTY FIVE!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">orange...red...green...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">red...green...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">orange...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the city was full of roads full of traffic lights.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">all she had to do was drive.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/">www.deviantart.com</a></span></i></span></span><br />
<i><br />
</i></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-85284876157012418122010-04-30T02:25:00.006+09:002010-04-30T02:59:48.029+09:00screw vodafone, amchi NRM!<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">today's been a big day for me. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">for one, i managed to con vodafone into giving me a dilli connection without giving them a single personal detail or document. ha! of course, my dear brother jopee had to give them a copy of his house lease and a pretty mug shot of himself to get me the new sim. but still, jopee punished vodafone by getting their guy to come over in the wee hours of the night to collect these. ha HA! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(jopee has a thrilling genius for extracting service from the most bloody minded customer service departments. he managed to get vodafone to do in one evening what i haven’t managed to pull off since the beginning of march. i’m seriously thinking of telling him to drop his wishy washy corporate job and monetize his superpowers instead. the ability to get vodafone to issue, verify and activate a new connection within 24 hours is the kind of niche and amazing talent that must get paid in gold bricks.)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but despite jopee’s dazzling performance and my utter delight at having outmaneuvered vodafone, i had a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when i got my new dilli sim card last night. the very thought of letting go of my old number made my blood run cold.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">come on! - jopee said - see if it works, i told the vodafone guy there’ll be hell to pay if it isn’t activated this evening!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">frankly, even i was completely shocked by my reluctance. i've been going on and on about how it’ll be brilliant to get another number and keep it a state secret for years now. but as it turns out, i’m just not cool enough to go awol.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in fact, i’m terrified of the mess this is no doubt going to create in the days to come. i’ll have to change the number in my bank records to continue getting their mobile alerts. this will take some nifty navigation through never ending phone menus. only to get put through to the wrong department, or get redirected to online banking. yeesh. i’ll also have to unsubscribe to stinking vodafone live all over again – with vodafone working hard to fox me into staying subscribed. i’ll have to send out mass sms-es to at least 50% of the people in my phone book. which a bunch of them will not receive, or forget to save. i’ll have to memorize my new number. i’ll have to change it on my business cards, my mail sign off, my cleartrip account…%@#@$@!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">don't be silly - jopee said - you can't be on roaming forever!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">b-b-bbbbbut, that's my mumbai number! from now on, when my friends and folks call, it’ll be STDeeeee! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the very thought of it made me want to cry. stupid, i know. so i figured i should just go the whole hog and keep both numbers.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">think of it as a dual citizenship – i sms-ed a friend this morning – henceforth and until further notice, i’m a Non Resident Mumbaikar.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so like i said, today's been a big day for me. i won the battle and then lost the war to vodafone. i’ve been saying ‘screw vodafone, amchi NRM!’ all day to make myself feel better. you know what, it works. the advertising business has trained me well. as you can see i’ve gotten so goddamn good, i can sell myself my own bullshit. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ps: i’ll thank you for not congratulating me on this remarkable achievement.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> </o:p></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQjniIZhUgFK0CaxH6hXzrcuOtHeXf2NHSJY9eIUEasynaLXkCBAuFzOET35odhFDYJpJjdQ-cZs6Ll9MwsYjOzoAv-XRZXWJ1z53sGtQTrvOjgjYCxgxIYwfGla_rlrcerZc7P0C3HXay/s1600/zoo04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQjniIZhUgFK0CaxH6hXzrcuOtHeXf2NHSJY9eIUEasynaLXkCBAuFzOET35odhFDYJpJjdQ-cZs6Ll9MwsYjOzoAv-XRZXWJ1z53sGtQTrvOjgjYCxgxIYwfGla_rlrcerZc7P0C3HXay/s400/zoo04.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: <a href="http://www.vodafone.in/">www.vodafone.in</a></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><br />
</i></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-41287797030114950462010-04-28T02:55:00.003+09:002010-04-28T03:00:35.609+09:00dear vodafone customer care executive,<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i hope this letter finds you in the pink of health and the finest of fettle. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">vodafone always enquires how our last chat went, but they also restrict me to a cold ‘yes’ / ‘no’ sms. since neither of these words do justice to the passion you inspire in me, i never know what to say. i’m always left grappling for words when we’re speaking on the phone as well. you primly instruct me to keep my emotions in check before you archly cut me off. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the shrewd victorian governesses you seem to have trained under have certainly taught you well. it’s so irresistibly quaint in this day and age. the way you shy away from brazenly throwing a solution at me like a commonplace corporate slut; the way you dutifully stick to what the script dictates and refuse to rise to my bait; the way you coyly tell me that you understand…but, tut tut!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">how else could we possibly prolong this tireless exchange of sweet nothings after all? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">if you didn’t make me trawl through that tricky phone menu to get to speak with you time and again, if you gave in to temptation and summarily sorted my mess out, if you put me through to your supervisor like i so foolishly demand, if you raked up our past in the records i keep nagging about, if you didn’t ingenuously conspire to make me work hard to get what i want…! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in retrospect, i realize these eventualities would simply nip our sizzling chemistry in the bud.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">goddamn it, i’m obsessed with you now. one day i’ll hunt you down. then i’m going to do to you what you do to me and bugger you until your brain gives out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in the meantime, i remain,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">your humble servant and hapless vodafone customer.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCn4mJugUfXO9hN2yvQY3UcCIkaiX12guJSRJgZ2oWU2daF9qi7epYHgkOtUwy3UeIr8vs3rMiCZ-XRth-LZkKT6XCqtLk2r83QroVZUG9lOmhVa1T35QE1F-tjIeKHzQ2svS9yIn3cqSc/s1600/Vodafone+ZooZoos+Wallpapers+ZuZus+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCn4mJugUfXO9hN2yvQY3UcCIkaiX12guJSRJgZ2oWU2daF9qi7epYHgkOtUwy3UeIr8vs3rMiCZ-XRth-LZkKT6XCqtLk2r83QroVZUG9lOmhVa1T35QE1F-tjIeKHzQ2svS9yIn3cqSc/s400/Vodafone+ZooZoos+Wallpapers+ZuZus+5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>image source: www.vodafone.in</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-6499311440878653522010-04-25T05:13:00.007+09:002010-04-26T13:05:49.818+09:00fresh meat<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt4IE3k7es96f5SW4FHDvdMymZu0GG8Gnd3PdK7Y8TtPlszAWUjxliYq_0V7JYLZAY7KO4UZ8FhS1e77HrScQ1UukrDZiIzUdA67sld0eI6vQb9Fb66N01s_s6FV6yzwVHixXzSqiY4i-p/s1600/mumbai_churchgate_station_060712.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt4IE3k7es96f5SW4FHDvdMymZu0GG8Gnd3PdK7Y8TtPlszAWUjxliYq_0V7JYLZAY7KO4UZ8FhS1e77HrScQ1UukrDZiIzUdA67sld0eI6vQb9Fb66N01s_s6FV6yzwVHixXzSqiY4i-p/s400/mumbai_churchgate_station_060712.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she was 21 when she first came to mumbai.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">her train pulled into dadar station at 4.45am and the first thing that hit her was the smell. it seeped through the passageway where she waited in line to get off. the stale smog of tightly packed bodies, leftover food and urine that had collected in the train through the night were no match for it. she noticed the child in front of her wrinkle his nose and burrow into his mother’s neck. but she let it wash over her instead, settle over her skin, her hair, her clothes, make her its own.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when she finally managed to step off with her suitcase, she slammed straight into a fishwife’s warm, moist, reeking bosom. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">e</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ssence of mumbai</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, she quipped to herself. the fishwife was gone in a jiffy, swallowed up by the churning mass of people. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">nobody noticed her standing by her fallen suitcase. except the ones who pushed her aside. they seemed possessed, these people of mumbai. thrusting through the platform, pressing against each other, swelling out of the exits. the station clock said 5am and all of them were late already.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">warden road</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, she told the taxi driver. he downed his meter wordlessly and they took off on her first ride through mumbai’s muggy melee. her window was rolled all the way down to not miss a thing. the sedate red buses warming up to a busy monday, the traffic beginning to bustle on the streets, the crows and pigeons thronging the trees, the dull buildings jammed together, the slum infested sidewalks, the scuttling crowds. she loved it all at first sight.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the city had no memories to haunt her that day. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">everything was waiting to happen.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>image source: <a href="http://www.outlookindia.com/">www.outlookindia.com</a></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-65958615587653401362010-04-18T07:43:00.027+09:002010-04-18T08:49:17.969+09:00a man is known by the company he keeps but i will be known for the company i do away with.<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv9Z-Zbe7-d3HpwG29p0xl2e-BKHlA2qbgekkiJ1SKVCh8iF55BGbNFOMnQgtuCE8lV5UcBJpYxi86QCyV1bMuh3lONMTadfp25ZIzXQHljGGIqFrRc1DEVTUWWAHzhNVdr8mlQ2cuybbg/s1600/stardustkidsDOTcoDOTuk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv9Z-Zbe7-d3HpwG29p0xl2e-BKHlA2qbgekkiJ1SKVCh8iF55BGbNFOMnQgtuCE8lV5UcBJpYxi86QCyV1bMuh3lONMTadfp25ZIzXQHljGGIqFrRc1DEVTUWWAHzhNVdr8mlQ2cuybbg/s400/stardustkidsDOTcoDOTuk.jpg" width="287" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">over the years that i was growing up an only child who moved cities every 11 months, i made a fairly motley assortment of imaginary friends.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the first one i remember is lucy the station wagon who came home when i was eight. she was painted ashes of roses and was a grand old lady by the time we met. though my father often complained about her being temperamental, lucy and i got along famously. her boot was the cocoon that i spent many joyous evenings, weekends and holidays in until i was ten. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then my father got a new car, a monstrous white ambassador that didn’t have a whit of lucy’s charm or grace. i hated it at first sight and never bothered introducing myself or asking for its name.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i never made friends with a car again until many years later, when i bought my first car and christened her malaika. she had me swooning on our first ride from worli to bandra, the way she slipped and slid, smooth as butter, through the narrow passage ways of mumbai. she was as vivacious as an auto rickshaw and zippy as an RX 100. she was the love of my life that day.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the next morning i parked her at phoenix mills and returned to find her bonnet crushed in. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">after a depressing week driving her around with a busted bonnet i decided to cheer us both up by getting her a new hi fi. about 15 minutes into the fitting, an empty glass bottle came flying out of a window in the building we were parked under and shattered malaika’s windshield.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so there she was, a week old chevy spark that looked like an elephant had raped it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">neither malaika nor i ever recovered from the let down.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i grit my teeth and patched her up, but she just kept getting herself into trouble. she cracked her fender on a pothole next. then someone backed into her at a wedding. a cabbie crashed her side on carter road. her engine developed a hacking cough. her roof wept persistently in the rain. last year we bumped a speed breaker and her rear view mirror fell off the roof, just like that.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">clearly, malaika had had enough.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she came back from GM with her mirror fixed upside down.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that’s the day i gave up on trying to be friends and rechristened her the bitch.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in august 2010, the financial contract that binds our unhappy marriage finally ends. i’ve been counting the days off to her all of this year, which unfortunately seems to have inspired the bitch to go on strike again.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she’s developed an evil sputter in her fuel injection as of yesterday and needs to retire to the mechanic for a week. while i meru cab it to gurgaon and back. @#@$#!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">after wasting all of today looking for car voodoo dolls, i’ve finally come up with a new agenda for august instead. i’m throwing a party at hauz khas and having all the local gym boys over. there's going to be an unlimited buffet of alcohol and sledge hammers. ha ha. malaika the bitch is going to get her birthday butt bumped right off in august 2010.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ps: i doubt i’ll miss this imaginary friend.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pps: you are blacklisted in my books, GM.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>image credit: </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://www.stardustkids.co.uk/">www.stardustkids.co.uk</a></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-81507970324563615172010-04-06T04:09:00.002+09:002010-05-14T03:27:53.341+09:0036F<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my very dear and very pregnant friend and i visited mothercare at ambi mall last thursday. it was the kind of work day that demanded a nice calming stroll through the shopping arcade and there was also the matter of procuring some specially constructed mommy to be lingerie.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the first thing you notice about mothercare’s collection of pregnancy fashions is that it is built big and designed to grow bigger. the bras are bolstered with wings and awnings and start at size cannon ball. the size 8 underwear unfolds into a blousy house dress, while the magnificent size 20 unfurls like gigantic sails across your arms. then you stretch and just when you think you can fit noah’s arc in, it miraculously gives a little more. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">yup, as engineering marvels go, you’d be hard pressed to find anything more spectacular and more down right pragmatic as maternity underwear. sure, it makes the odd exception for print and lace, but the foundation and most impressive aspect of its architecture is without doubt the infinitely accommodating waistband.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">personally, stretchlon maternity waistbands are one of the scariest things i’ve ever seen. on the one hand, they propose the distinct possibility of getting that fat. on the other hand, they seemed to taunt me with their roominess. acres and meters of them billowed judgmentally down at my washboard chest and bony butt. no cleavage, the bras noted like well padded aunties as i walked by wonderingly. the expandable waist jeans shied away from my shapeless belly. the maternity gowns drooped in depression at my miserable hips. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">even the sales staff gave me a wide berth.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i hadn’t felt like such a freak in a long time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that is, until i finally found a bra that fit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">:)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsSNvhWPoQecMsgsSiJo853IuaySMP4vjb9g0Dsubdmroxr7MSUnxu0hpaz8FECCBhR-U9PBxg7-a8NmTXsC394QbTyx7pD4jTx0byWpqv59NYQIZuD2KufCFuk5qUSEArK27esRspVAp3/s1600/2010-04-01+18.04.35_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsSNvhWPoQecMsgsSiJo853IuaySMP4vjb9g0Dsubdmroxr7MSUnxu0hpaz8FECCBhR-U9PBxg7-a8NmTXsC394QbTyx7pD4jTx0byWpqv59NYQIZuD2KufCFuk5qUSEArK27esRspVAp3/s640/2010-04-01+18.04.35_1.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-86283186886306505782010-04-03T08:53:00.007+09:002010-04-03T13:17:55.703+09:00weekend nookie<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">many years ago, when i was a young tomboy with nothing much on my mind other than which tree to climb and conquer next, i saw a song on tv that changed me forever.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in the days when famous five, he-man and chitrahar summed up the entire gamut of my tv habit, DD aired the grammies once a year. this was a much anticipated event back then. spectacular simply because there was no competition, this was IT. the solitary window to what was happening in the world of pop. a thrilling taste of what would feature in that years ‘best of grammies’ tape. then an entire year to kill again on chitrahar and the scintillating adventures of the famous five and he-man.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">maybe that’s why it took my breath away, that song.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or maybe it was just time for me to fall in love for the very first time. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">here it is folks, paul mccartney singing ‘love me do’ (and man, did i ever!):</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><br />
</o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_xuMwfUqJJM&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_xuMwfUqJJM&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">while my mother insists that kumar gaurav was the first guy i fell for at age five, thankfully, i have no memory of it. however, i distinctly and viscerally remember the feeling of losing my heart to paul singing this song. it felt exactly like having my guts ripped out, and it defined the sensation of falling in love for me ever since. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i watched <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43aLbo-Y_W0">‘across the universe’</a> today for breakfast, then again for lunch. the beatles seem to have come flooding back at me with a vengeance thanks to my kind friend R’s diligent attentions. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so here i am, gutted again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">damn me, what a fantastic beginning to a gloriously love struck weekend :)</span><br />
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</span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-4521992731575784592010-03-01T00:52:00.009+09:002010-05-14T03:27:53.341+09:00kicking butt in dilli<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk0u0mMyZM-L5h1Q-wLjtUJpDlf21j5nfJS7qs431jj5YtpJmbk9auwW3F8v8ZBFTNgDTFdDhDH24v1_t7BSkymFLJiHv3FjuQLp-5G3o5LlOfgiB0whwzkcWiPe754Uy6zHf6Hmz9-gd4/s1600-h/aryanwearDOTcom.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk0u0mMyZM-L5h1Q-wLjtUJpDlf21j5nfJS7qs431jj5YtpJmbk9auwW3F8v8ZBFTNgDTFdDhDH24v1_t7BSkymFLJiHv3FjuQLp-5G3o5LlOfgiB0whwzkcWiPe754Uy6zHf6Hmz9-gd4/s400/aryanwearDOTcom.bmp" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i moved into a sweet little flat at <a href="http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/the-delhi-walla/2009/11/13/hauz-khas-village-south-delhi/">hauz khas village</a> in dilli this weekend.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my landlady happens to be the local don and her 5000w voice begins to crack like a cannon across the rooftops at 6am:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>‘<b>TU SEEDI SAAF KAR RAHI HAI KE DHOOL MAL RAHI HAI?</b>’</i> she booms at the quivering maid who trips over herself to make the stairway sparkle. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>‘<b>TAMATAR BECHE HAI KE SONA?!</b>’</i> she roars at the soft spoken vegetable man.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>‘<b>MUJHKO JAWAB DETA HAI! BADE PAR NIKAL AAYE HAIN TERE!</b>’</i> she bellows at some foolhardy soul who has had the temerity to talk back. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i've been here 24 hours now, and my landlady’s mighty roar has drowned away my laptop’s tinny tenor to become the soundtrack of my weekend. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">oddly enough, i'm finding it deeply comforting.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>‘<b>HAAIN??? TUJHE KOI AANKH UTHAKE TOH DEKE!</b>’</i>, she exploded when i enquired how safe it was around these parts, <i>‘<b>YE DEKH MERI RIFLE! GOLLI SE UDA DOONGI!</b>’</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i'm sure the neighbourhood was listening, along with everyone else within the NCR region. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it made me feel very, very special.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the way the bug eyed villagers warily watched me this morning added greatly to my swagger as i strode out to the tapri for tea. they peeked like mice from behind walls and windows and doorways. when i looked back, their eyes blinked and skittered away. the ones i met along the narrow lane swerved and disappeared up gullies and stairways. and the one man i happened to brush against leapt back like he’d been scalded. ‘s-s-s-sorry mai-dam!’ he squeaked and ran away.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">honestly, i don’t believe i’ve ever managed to elicit this degree of rank terror in all my 32 years.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">yup, i’m wearing my <a href="http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bovver_boots">bovver boots</a> like i mean it from now on, my friends,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">they are no longer just a survival tactic.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i'm feeling dangerous.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: <a href="http://www.aryanwear.com/">www.aryanwear.com</a></span></i><br />
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</i>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-17703163143960156392010-02-24T03:25:00.002+09:002010-02-24T13:31:18.931+09:00coffee, tea, or me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh40QEOMTSBP0vtW1BlJbh4c8tkBbvM3PUqKg1TnD8ijcdPvCVnTpU7MFw-Ai_Q4yn-bcdsRQ800KR21N0YlFwiESOdjXlhBnXeUoY5ixLXRakAYJKXWDbKH7CdfOs1GgXY1Jc7vd4MPWOV/s1600-h/devisntartDOTcom.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh40QEOMTSBP0vtW1BlJbh4c8tkBbvM3PUqKg1TnD8ijcdPvCVnTpU7MFw-Ai_Q4yn-bcdsRQ800KR21N0YlFwiESOdjXlhBnXeUoY5ixLXRakAYJKXWDbKH7CdfOs1GgXY1Jc7vd4MPWOV/s400/devisntartDOTcom.bmp" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he woke up to her</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">curled into his shoulder</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">her face so close</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he could breathe her in</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she was awake</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">watching him</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(this was new</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but he never thought about it)</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he kissed her</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">his sweet lips unsuspecting</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">held her closer</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then he got out of bed</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">showered</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">shaved</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">dressed</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">came down to breakfast</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">expecting the usual</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i am leaving you</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">she said</span></span><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">instead.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: </span><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.deviantart.com</span></a></i></span><br />
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</span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-22099296060435210382010-02-19T00:04:00.003+09:002010-02-19T03:22:15.858+09:00don’t flatter yourself, mr.bhagat<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBY7jD4DOTgON-B4WVq1Kmee5OefAfyk0JfvuRvWVmTVxo1czXlMkqwt6LViBmA4QQk29DElQ64_b3bUAlkt5SACMO4RxXW_aLa55aJljxOhQqXlszcdvL013626vlr4Lk_jmAeUcrr2pr/s1600-h/spam+boy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBY7jD4DOTgON-B4WVq1Kmee5OefAfyk0JfvuRvWVmTVxo1czXlMkqwt6LViBmA4QQk29DElQ64_b3bUAlkt5SACMO4RxXW_aLa55aJljxOhQqXlszcdvL013626vlr4Lk_jmAeUcrr2pr/s400/spam+boy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">chetan bhagat declared on twitter today that he’s finally come to the conclusion that he’s a complete idiot. ha ha.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i think not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a cursory glance through his body of barf (if you can bear to stomach even that) should be enough for the average reader to recognize him for what he is – a machiavellian perversion of literature released upon the indian readership to wean us away from books forever.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he’s probably the lynch pin of a giant conspiracy by kindle. or by the evil minions who sell us ‘value added services’ on our mobile phones.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">think about it. he reads exactly like sms spam. the kind you get on (ick!) valentine’s day, or (yuck!) friendship day, or (huh?) women’s day, heavily garnished with fucked up spelling, zero grammar and smileys for punctuation. the folks who can read that junk and be moved to do anything less than projectile vomit are clearly made of sterner stuff than i am.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the menu card at my guest house in gurgaon reads better than mr.bhagat. tucked away in its list of unpretentious indian/continental/chinese fare are what i can only assume to be the cook’s specials, viz, staffed parathas with crud and pickels, toast with jam and batter, anyway maggy, massla poppad, sikh kabab, paneer batter massla, matter paneer, bucumber salad, batter chicken, matten curry, chicken munchur, american and chines choupsey and plane milk. at the end, it sweetly signs off with ‘at your sirvice :)’</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my point is that unlike bhagat barf, reading this eager cook’s curious listings never fails to pique my appetite and always leaves me smiling.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ps: in case you're wondering, i follow mr.bhagat on twitter because on the days i'm pms-ing, tweeting back at him is like laxative for the soul. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>image source: <a href="http://www.ugly-halloween-costumes.com/">www.ugly-halloween-costumes.com</a></i></span><br />
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</span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-80377248840938049852010-02-16T14:55:00.008+09:002010-02-20T04:44:28.235+09:00oooh, pramod muthalik must’ve peed his pink panties!<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq2GORR7QHOHsLp_FpGL9HWdBIi2HgNrgl9Njr10izdL-8V5uTe83zwfCob35Z1_y8ZCuWxmvsko4B4VeTIpez0gVlNrjSCZSK-XioVj7OTvaXrjyAwieHR6Hu6XNCl0yO-2uHdJurla9y/s1600-h/pramod_muthalik_20090209.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq2GORR7QHOHsLp_FpGL9HWdBIi2HgNrgl9Njr10izdL-8V5uTe83zwfCob35Z1_y8ZCuWxmvsko4B4VeTIpez0gVlNrjSCZSK-XioVj7OTvaXrjyAwieHR6Hu6XNCl0yO-2uHdJurla9y/s400/pramod_muthalik_20090209.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">just look at that ugly mug. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">don’t miss the beady eyes, that cunning smile, the heavy air of slime and power that hangs about him. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">take look at that picture again. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">doesn’t he make the cops look cute? i’ll bet he had them for breakfast right after the photo shoot.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">did you hear about how they invited him to a debate on valentine’s day? did it remind you of the good old school days too? so sweet, na?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and what about </span><a href="http://www.hindu.com/2010/02/12/stories/2010021256500100.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">those naughty boys from the youth congress who crashed his speech and gave him a charcoal facial</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">? heh, must've done wonders for his complexion.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">jokes apart, this is the face of a man who spreads hate and horror for a living. i wonder what he'll come up with when he gets sick of all the heckling.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.outlookindia.com/">www.outlookindia.com</a></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><br />
</i></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-28524966995876954132010-02-06T06:34:00.011+09:002010-02-07T14:43:39.610+09:00i’m eating everything my mother puts on my plate these days<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipRNYzaKgooX_jzFLq3zOmKdxKG1HrVTpnqhMcAB12iTQlS0GIL2H13Wzxz7Np3o1GTSfCyBVuEGczYMx5V-ETa4QSY4fhS9gMzk5xsDeu4pGaThJYuVjPucPhhNuHv1moqiaDvbe6bth5/s1600-h/food.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" kt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipRNYzaKgooX_jzFLq3zOmKdxKG1HrVTpnqhMcAB12iTQlS0GIL2H13Wzxz7Np3o1GTSfCyBVuEGczYMx5V-ETa4QSY4fhS9gMzk5xsDeu4pGaThJYuVjPucPhhNuHv1moqiaDvbe6bth5/s320/food.bmp" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>she’s ten and a half pounds</em>, my grandmum approvingly told my mother when she regained consciousness about a week after i almost ripped her in two on my way out into this world. </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it’s the first thing she heard about me and the first thing about me that made her proud. </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">thereafter, my family heaved a collective sigh of relief and moved on from praying for my mother's life to congratulating her on my impressive rolls of fat. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">everybody in my family was utterly enamored by them. legends abound about the number of fingers, hands and limbs that could disappear into the mythical tyres of flab on my classically thunderous south indian thighs. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">legend also has it that i was a problem eater and often fell ill when i was young. this is the one thing my mother held against me as a child, since it seriously threatened her grand ambitions for me. </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>all i did was feed you for the first 11 years of your life</em>, my mother is fond of saying to me still, <em>by the time you ate breakfast, it was time to feed you lunch…and then time for tiffin…and then dinner…i had no time to do anything except make you eat while you were growing up!</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">well, that’s her story anyway. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">our family albums will bear witness to the fact that contrary to my mother’s complaint, eating was all i did for the first 11 years of my life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">other than me, the villain who always gets a dishonorable mention in my mother’s stories is the doctor who had the temerity to thwart her when i was three. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>she is grossly overweight... </em>- the doctor observed in the middle of my mother's tirade about my lack of appetite.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>but, but...she doesn’t eat anything!</em> - my mother wailed. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>missing a few meals is not going to do your daughter any harm, madam, she is obese!</em> - the unfortunate doctor said.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">at which point, my mother recoiled like a queen cobra, told him exactly what she thought of him as a doctor and a human being, walked out and never went back.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so while i was growing up, all my friends called me <em>saand</em>. i remember, they’d slip in through the grille that surrounded the park downstairs and i’d be left standing outside. always too fat to fit.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then my folks and i moved to japan when i was 14…and i added a liter of haagen daaz, 3 cokes and a few candy bars (per day) to my mother’s daily fare. then i grew and i grew and i GREW until my skin stretched tight as a drum over me and my layers of fat.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">by the time i saw my collar bone for the very first time i was 21. i was away at hostel and had been on a steady diet of cigarettes, yogurt, nimbu paani and salad for about 3 months by then. my collar bone looked so strange and beautiful on my body that i couldn’t stop squinting at it for days in the cruddy bathroom mirror.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but when i went back home for the holidays, my mum took one look at me and the tears welled up in her eyes. i saw her vision of me shatter, painfully, on the sharp edges of my new found bones. by the time i said ‘no’ to her second helping at dinner, she knew and i knew...it was the end of her era.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">and as she has informed me again at the dinner table this evening - she does not plan to get over it any time soon!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: </span></em><a href="http://www.vintagekitchen.com/"><em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.vintagekitchen.com</span></em></a>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-28464997028285853822010-02-04T05:43:00.001+09:002010-02-04T05:45:00.924+09:00happy birthday, this is my gift to you.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwbyc7vKP0L98aSMuHnKTVdsdLvLgDqK5NLnHNmKJ4Uf2E5BKIl3KpVQ1Qew75ymduM9LZDLXhaAeVQNPdhcXGZj083ll4tQ87VbGuMrrp4xCMAEQsFwvg8GPxNWcLWeMmCJHC-HV5Zvef/s1600-h/clip_image002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" kt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwbyc7vKP0L98aSMuHnKTVdsdLvLgDqK5NLnHNmKJ4Uf2E5BKIl3KpVQ1Qew75ymduM9LZDLXhaAeVQNPdhcXGZj083ll4tQ87VbGuMrrp4xCMAEQsFwvg8GPxNWcLWeMmCJHC-HV5Zvef/s400/clip_image002.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">on your 32nd birthday, baby</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">if you happen to see this, maybe</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in case you never do, it’s</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">what you said you always wanted, really</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so you know i was listening, not </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">simply playing at being oh, so into you </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">just starting today, </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">just for you</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i’m keeping my wishes </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my hugs, my kisses</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and all my love</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">safe </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">from you.</span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-6977769773663904762010-02-02T04:49:00.004+09:002010-02-02T05:00:25.171+09:00i am less than a week away from flying out to dilli and wondering where to stock up on my cartons of mace, my cast iron chastity belts and a set of matching cast iron corsets that look like this:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" kt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkuo9vxe4EieVZn4L7TruXrkPWxcumYNeM6a_Bs_PvPSL8DdCaA0KzyykPsz1eM07VHDI4v7_bQebKrncoRIb1QZK_9Uybs6X4qjhbC0mj5AmtzrQV0sTiYD1H6znkkysnwBiPS_U80nMk/s400/racheshopDOTde.jpg" width="295" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">image source: </span></em><a href="http://www.racheshop.de/"><em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.racheshop.de</span></em></a></div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-15213776700837360512010-01-27T17:07:00.003+09:002010-01-27T17:32:08.731+09:00sometimes i think i'm seeing things<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaTRruVUeE3Xyx5fyPUxPeFIq5hpcfE19BsWD7CpdQR_K2ltf4U2s9lKHXoKSw-Haqi9n2iMpOnKQNFLEBuzOZBBMEgOuqYj2qY4DikKeobtR7FkqRWadAi3LqJs5ojCexkIXXgP2q7WwN/s1600-h/IMG_1569.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
<img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaTRruVUeE3Xyx5fyPUxPeFIq5hpcfE19BsWD7CpdQR_K2ltf4U2s9lKHXoKSw-Haqi9n2iMpOnKQNFLEBuzOZBBMEgOuqYj2qY4DikKeobtR7FkqRWadAi3LqJs5ojCexkIXXgP2q7WwN/s400/IMG_1569.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><strong><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sgt. pinklewit, aka the acp</span></span></strong><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">: </span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hello colonel…they said you might be out here.</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">col. khan: </span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">shhh...gimme your paw...now close your eyes, go on…keep your eyes closed, don’t peek.</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sgt.: </span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i’m not…</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">col.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> hold on, hold on…keep your eyes closed…do you trust me?</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sgt.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> i trust you!</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">col.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> …</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sgt.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> ?</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">col.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> *snore*</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sgt.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> *gasp* [eyes snap open] you’re asleep colonel!</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">col.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> [humming in his sleep] come, josephine, in my whiskas machine, going up, she goes up, up she goes…</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sgt.: </span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">open your eyes, colonel...don't you love me?</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">col.:</span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> [blissed out in REM] i’m the king of the worldzzzZZZ...:)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-80934099214815029012010-01-25T15:38:00.004+09:002010-01-25T16:08:43.810+09:00you’ll meet them at every traffic signal today<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you might be driving to work, or on your way to college, or heading back home, or going out with your friends.</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
they’ll be the bright little faces that pop up at your window, smiling and waving their bouquets of tricolour flags and badges at you.<br />
<br />
maybe you’ll smile back and buy one. then again, maybe you won’t.<br />
<br />
after all, what’s the point of buying the tricolour token once you’re past the mandatory flag hoisting ceremonies at school?<br />
<br />
most of us are too busy chasing our dreams and ambitions these days to do anything more than heave a sigh of relief and sleep in on the 26th of January.<br />
<br />
but those bright little flag sellers will still be on the street struggling to make ends meet the day after tomorrow…and the day after…and the day after that...<br />
<br />
unless you decide to do something truly patriotic for their future and for the future of our nation this time, on republic day.<br />
<br />
</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://www.middaymeal.com/make_a_doantion.htm"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you can start by donating rs 700 to the School=Lunch program.</span></a><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
every single one of us who donates rs 700 ensures that one underprivileged child gets one hot meal every day for an entire school year.<br />
<br />
one hot meal. For which the parent sacrifices sending their little one to sell you flags and flowers, or to wipe your car at the traffic signals...which has the power to bring that child to school every day!</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://www.middaymeal.com/make_a_doantion.htm"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so please pledge your rs 700 right away.</span></a><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOW TO DONATE:</span></b></span><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. you can use </span><a href="http://www.middaymeal.com/make_a_doantion.htm"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the internet payment gateway at www.middaymeal.com</span></a><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. you can call 022 40366866. they'll guide you through the payment options. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. you can draw a cheque in favour of '<i>iskcon food relief foundation</i>' and mail it to:</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>nanha munna rahi hoon, </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>iskcon food relief foundation, </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>19 jaywant industrial premises, </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>63 tardeo road, </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>mumbai 400 034.</i> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">if you are in mumbai, you can call seema at 982084245 to have your cheque picked up. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">if you are near bandra, you can drop your cheque at the 'rickshaw' office between 10am and 7pm. in case th<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>flat 102, </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>dheeraj grand, </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>15th road, </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>bandra west </i></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>(the lane between mini punjab and </i></span><st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>bombay</i></span></st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> blues. landmark: shaibaan restaurant at the start of the lane)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">ey are out, please slip the cheque under the door. their address is:</span></i></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgauj3CmDinHRudVOZRTqp8x18gfT8doowj0MOzE8MxBz5NB5GUoER32Zci0-fE3xBA-zoh50qz9AiVGfhAthtZ-j5ivNEuqzAFs2IuG-2ohuRvwJsRpwFVlkxj8M5aG-HHTY7ScAZPeZvO/s1600-h/nanha+munna+stamp1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgauj3CmDinHRudVOZRTqp8x18gfT8doowj0MOzE8MxBz5NB5GUoER32Zci0-fE3xBA-zoh50qz9AiVGfhAthtZ-j5ivNEuqzAFs2IuG-2ohuRvwJsRpwFVlkxj8M5aG-HHTY7ScAZPeZvO/s400/nanha+munna+stamp1.jpg" width="355" /></span></a></span></span><br />
</div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-86377901713400599732010-01-21T14:35:00.005+09:002010-01-22T15:33:08.737+09:00the one that got away - I<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMGXtDDcLhWHokEg1adHKpLnhGovOB6PMOb170IrOnOE8K095zA7TcDOlS8iywnTFCNoxiGKs2AqY-3wYIVmN0pl4uvidpWYU5_UAfXXJbuwR63xN10BSoCbr2StWmQM8KX4RPrPY7ooP/s1600-h/piggypoo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMGXtDDcLhWHokEg1adHKpLnhGovOB6PMOb170IrOnOE8K095zA7TcDOlS8iywnTFCNoxiGKs2AqY-3wYIVmN0pl4uvidpWYU5_UAfXXJbuwR63xN10BSoCbr2StWmQM8KX4RPrPY7ooP/s400/piggypoo.jpg" width="280" /></a><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">three months ago, on the morning of my 32nd</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> birthday, i woke up and reached for the pack of wills navy cut that lay beside me on my bed as usual.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then i didn’t smoke a cigarette.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">not smoking has been that simple and that hard for me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i congratulate myself for every cigarette that i don’t smoke and celebrate every one of them as a personal victory.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">especially because i still love smoking, as i am sure i always will. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">strangely enough, always being highly conscious of the fact that i'll never get over it is the only thing that keeps me from smoking a cigarette. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i have found that quitting smoking is exactly like the boy or girl you can never quite get out of your system. you know...the one you will always be vulnerable to...who you must be careful not to spend too much 'alone time' with...who you must be careful not to go drinking with anymore...who you might find yourself pining for some days...who you have given into again and again woken up to regret the act.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">like i did just yesterday when i smoked that last cigarette which was hiding in the corner of a pack that got left behind on my sofa by mistake.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there it was one minute, temptingly winking at me like the devil.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the next minute it was over and done with, a sad little pile of ash at the bottom of the empty cigarette pack.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it was so sudden and urgent that i don’t even remember what happened.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">afterwards, i felt slightly foolish and icky…but also slightly electrified…how easy it was to just slip back!</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">then in the evening, i lit another one when i was a few drinks down. i would have smoked it too, and gone on to finish off the whole pack i’m sure. except that a friend stepped in to rescue me from myself this time.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so i’m keeping my fingers crossed for better sense to prevail and thanking the good lord above for the good friends who help me rise above this evil love of mine.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and i am writing off yesterday as the day i got away with it :)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">amen to that!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-46383278502168019942010-01-17T18:02:00.006+09:002010-01-17T18:13:25.519+09:00oh, the way we kissed!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHUGqAPlNvvnefjS-WWhq57JU9-89_K-JhUL-MFX7JYANp7T_-40CKJExS3bPjtDKR7niunRi77zpDCiqe0_HDMxk0rjHgzI5NwwGzRiy_Z_mAzSuP1XpCI6shBcp4AIP9FHKX1yPEUcWD/s1600-h/kiss+me+quick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHUGqAPlNvvnefjS-WWhq57JU9-89_K-JhUL-MFX7JYANp7T_-40CKJExS3bPjtDKR7niunRi77zpDCiqe0_HDMxk0rjHgzI5NwwGzRiy_Z_mAzSuP1XpCI6shBcp4AIP9FHKX1yPEUcWD/s400/kiss+me+quick.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">down by the bridge</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that day they bombed our trains the third time in a row</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you and i, we kissed</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and we kissed</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and we kissed</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">until the police came to demand their just compensation</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">for so shamelessly endangering the morals of this town</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when they left</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you turned to me and said,</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">god…</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i love you</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i can’t breathe</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">kiss me quick!</span><br />
</div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-37280038487008080422010-01-16T06:10:00.006+09:002010-01-16T06:34:00.340+09:00ACHTUNG LADIES: JUST SHOOT HIM!<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">dr.melanie and i were on our way to yoga class this wednesday evening when we learnt a very valuable lesson.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">so there we were, looking like pragmatic padminis in our baggy sweatpants and tees, our faces well scrubbed, our hair pulled back into pony tails, trying to flag down an auto at 6.30pm on sv road.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">within 5 minutes we ended up flagging down a stalker instead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">our eyes met about 100 meters before he reached us. then he slowed down and coasted past. his eyes held mine as he pulled up a few meters down the road, swung his leg over and parked his bike. he was about six feet tall with a heavy stubble, and he looked like he’d just walked off a b-grade gangster movie shoot where he was playing the chief ambient asshole.</span><br />
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</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">i chivvied the doctor (who hadn’t noticed our new admirer) into a nearby auto and told the driver to get a move on it.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">unfortunately, our autowalla (unlike most mumbai autowallas) drove his vehicle like a luna. he putputted along like a novice and seemed utterly cowed by the rush hour frenzy.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the asshole had a field day swooping gracefully in and out of traffic behind our auto. he’d materialize next to us whichever way we turned. sometimes he’d pull up close and leer in, sometimes he’d ogle at us across the car tops. he didn’t do a thing except stare us with his sick, menacing, x-ray vision.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">is he going to do anything? – the doctor asked me.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">i have no clue! – i muttered jumpily as we pulled up at a traffic signal.</span><br />
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</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the asshole pulled up one car away, stalled his bike, turned around and got back to business, viz, leching.</span><br />
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</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">well, i’m just going to shoot him and his license plate while he eyeballs us! – said the doctor.</span><br />
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</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">then she pointed her phone camera at the asshole and commenced clicking like a pro.</span><br />
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</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">within a few seconds the balance of power had dramatically shifted and the hunter had transformed into the prey. </span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">while the good doctor and i clicked away like a pair of professional japanese tourists, the asshole uneasily shifted his bike ahead and behind the car to conceal his license plate.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">here he is, attempting to blend in with the rest of the respectable folks:</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBfQbrysb5mB6w_kxKBUBYPQdVbwPjVmMwb5h9dZiY-9zBkAIsMJ79d3XoVFJVdm62HHNcYGUf826YrHua6CuGv5BulLCubSjsL4j3l9AvkcRXfxgMyfg0y-g1-w_vMLkBzX24ok6Ba6Up/s1600-h/IMG00031.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBfQbrysb5mB6w_kxKBUBYPQdVbwPjVmMwb5h9dZiY-9zBkAIsMJ79d3XoVFJVdm62HHNcYGUf826YrHua6CuGv5BulLCubSjsL4j3l9AvkcRXfxgMyfg0y-g1-w_vMLkBzX24ok6Ba6Up/s320/IMG00031.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">as soon as the signal changed, he fell back into the surging sea of vehicles and disappeared. we spotted him one or twice again, bolting ahead of us in the traffic. he seemed to be in quite a rush to get away.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the good doctor and i got in to yoga class feeling like the goddamn KINGS of the fucking road :)</span><br />
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</div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">so keep your phone cameras handy ladies, and just shoot the next SOB you meet on the road! you don't even need to get a good shot...he just needs to think so!</span><br />
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</span>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4385206523544127105.post-83798397051433478442010-01-14T15:54:00.004+09:002010-01-14T16:06:13.196+09:00patriotism is such a vintage emotion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghxdlAHzsgT2F50dR1muIVJf_gEUE-TagN5KBHRTQtYYaiOVB9u7f-pVBdFVEizqCqdqo-tqQEKGmRD7Q47nlSJ5_RyDK5enTfbymRXlSHtTksqgzXGT1NgJ7q_Aa8cTj-8OTKLAsKCGVy/s1600-h/nanha+munna+stamp1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghxdlAHzsgT2F50dR1muIVJf_gEUE-TagN5KBHRTQtYYaiOVB9u7f-pVBdFVEizqCqdqo-tqQEKGmRD7Q47nlSJ5_RyDK5enTfbymRXlSHtTksqgzXGT1NgJ7q_Aa8cTj-8OTKLAsKCGVy/s400/nanha+munna+stamp1.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">doesn’t it remind you of grandpa’s conversations and ncc parades and civics lessons and manoj kumar movies and the era of doordarshan when our national anthem played before the news every day?</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in our times we religiously look up the 26th</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> of january and the 15th</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> of august at the beginning of the year to check if they fall on weekends or weekdays. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">then we dive breathlessly back into our fast paced lives and fast track careers. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it’s not that we are indifferent, it’s just that we are working harder than ever before to secure a bigger, better, brighter tomorrow.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">there’s little time and space for patriotic idealism in the pragmatic business of making progress!</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">unless…we start thinking of patriotism as something more meaningful than the quaint gestures and rituals we remember from our school days.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">patriotism is every act of enabling and nurturing a bigger, better, brighter future for </span><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">India</span></st1:place></st1:country-region><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it is as </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">actionable as donating </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rs 700 to the </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=288181660883&index=1"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">‘nanha munna raahi hoon’</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> initiative for the </span><a href="http://www.middaymeal.com/"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">school equals lunch</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> program. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">every single one of us who donates rs 700 ensures that one underprivileged child gets one hot meal every day for an entire school year.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">one hot meal. for which the parent sacrifices sending their little one to sell flags and flowers, or to wipe car windows at traffic signals. one hot meal. which is probably the only nutritious meal the child has in the day. one hot meal. that has the power to bring a child to school every day.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if one thousand of us donate rs. 700 in the next thirteen days, then one thousand more kids can go to school this year.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so please pledge rs 700 for them this republic day and please help us pass this message on to everyone you know.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HOW TO MAKE YOUR DONATION:</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
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</span> <br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. you can use the </span><a href="http://www.middaymeal.com/donations_online.htm"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">internet payment gateway at www.middaymeal.com</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. you can call 022-40366866 and they will guide you through the payment options<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. you can draw a cheque in favour of 'iskcon food relief foundation' and mail it to:</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">nanha munna rahi hoon, iskcon food relief foundation, 19 jaywant industrial premises, 63 tardeo road, mumbai 400 034</span></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OR (if you are in mumbai) you can call seema at 982084245 to have your cheque picked up.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OR (if you are in mumbai) </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you can drop your cheque at the rickshaw office in bandra between 10am and 7pm. in case they're out, slip the cheque under the door and they'll have it sent to school equals lunch. the address is:</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">flat 102, dheeraj grand, 15th road, bandra west (landmark: shaibaan restaurant at the start of the lane between mini punjab and </span><st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">bombay</span></st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> blues)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ps: on a less serious note, do not dismiss patriotism - it can accomplish miracles! (thank you, AGG :)</span><br />
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</div>mentaliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389745690489521170noreply@blogger.com6