but what about the pain in my ass, young man

i have a grouse with all the rampant back rubbing these days. in my experience, rubbers usually give bad massages and are mostly oblivious to the word ‘no’. while i for my part, cannot fathom why we must impose upon my back when we could so easily shake hands instead. or better still, not.

there’s no denying it'll make less of an impression than a pair of sweaty paws, but consider this: look at it my way.