Sunday, June 13, 2010

yup, i think i’ll morph into ken.

it could be the recent spate of advertising for glowing white armpits, or the last hour i spent googling rhinoplasty procedures, or the fact that i haven’t had sex for…oh, lets just say i can officially declare myself a virgin again, but i’ve had this feeling creeping up on me for awhile now. this feeling that i can be perfected. subject to fine print and certain inescapable realities of life, of course (like the fact that i haven’t managed to grow a pair of boobs in 32 years, which effectively nixes my chances of morphing into barbie). after contemplating for a long, long time on the possibility of perfection that the cosmesuitical industry argues for so persistently when i turn on the tv (oh come on, you should take a break from the worldcup too), after fantasizing for ages about what it would be like to be sweat-less, odor-less, hairless, blemish-less, zit-less, t-zone-less, stretchmark-less, snout-less, cellulite-less, wrinkle-less, i have reached the conclusion that there is only one perfect material in the world and we are not made of it. plastic. plastic is perfect, whereas people are porous. so i’m seriously thinking of getting myself redone in it. with pearly whites and baby blues and perpetually arched eyebrows and a super slick hairdo and permanently flexed pecs and perennially taut glutes and an urbane plastic bump where my genitalia used to be. you can help me decide one last thing - should i go blonde, or brunette?






image sources: www.cnbc.com, www.brooklynstars-forever.blogspot.com

17 comments:

Mathangi said...

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'm voting blonde, go all out I say.

Eveline said...

Brunette - always a sucker for dark-haired ppl.

Toys and TV might occasionally get flack for portraying women as princesses concerned with fashion over intelligence, but they're just as bad portraying men. Take Ken for instance. That doll is seriously cut. He's got a six pack, good biceps, a toned back and I bet he has quite a package under those shorts.

Having dated rather little this past year or so, I can vouch that most men in my age group (26-30) aren't perfect physical specimen. Shouldn't we have been told as little girls that we were most likely going to end up with someone who had a saggy belly and hair in unfortunate places?

The reality sucks rusty scissors.

R said...

How about both?

R said...

(Is it okay to say that image -both blonde and brunette- reminds me of Michael Jackson at some level? No, just saying.)

Anupama said...

Blonde I say...if you're going to be perfect you could certainly use something that attracts attention to your perfection...and blonde will work like magic :)

Agree every bit with you on this one though...and its true not only in this context but others as well...a perfect human being, an ideal one, is supposed to be honest, faithful, follow rules, be civil yada yada yada when 90% of the people are genetically inclined to do the opposite. We have modelled our race on the impossible and not on reality.

blunt edges said...

LOL...u are a rockstar...no matter what colored hair u have! ;)

ani_aset said...

") as long as you keep turning in such posts i dont mind what you chose to be

Punvati said...

Blondes look washed out. Especially blonde men. Go redhead I say :P

If you want to look plastic, as Ms. Rai how she does it, by the by :D

Punvati said...

er.. ask*

soin said...

bald.i like bald women.ok

Jil Jil Ramamani said...

Brunette if you must. James Bond sucks when blondee.

RGB said...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, ain't it! If you think you are perfect, you are! Under the chisel, plastic or whatever, imperfections can perhaps be straightened out but could never really be real.

Enjoyed reading your post!

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kro said...

where the frikkin hell is thou-est?

SwB said...

kidhar hai bhai?

R said...

(blog post alert)

last word by the acp

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