poochaanga yoga

ladies and gentlemen, i bring you the ancient wisdom of the masters of moksha.

i am but a humble servant and observer of this incredible art and i claim no expertise myself. however, placed as i am at an advantageously close proximity to the maestros, my cell phone camera and the internet, i consider myself duty bound to share with the world my avid documentation of this commonly seen, but as yet undiscovered discipline.

henceforth, i shall reveal to you every weekend, a secret from the gurus of grace. trust me and follow these revelations faithfully. because i know from first hand experience that every time homoerectus struggles to bend over and reach its toes, twist itself into pliancy, twirl itself free from the gravitas of the day and shut away a million quibbling worries to achieve an empty mind, a soul at peace and deep belly breathing…there sits the Cat, laughing its wise head off.

let’s face it, we might have invented yoga but nirvana belongs to the cats. this is my ode to them and the one chance your sanity might have left to be saved.

lesson 1: Splatt!!aasana

for instant bliss and an irrepressible smile: the source of all happiness lies within. this is an age old truth that is often slandered as myth today by cynics, dejected lovers and credit card companies.

this asana unblocks the barriers we have subconsciously created to the fountain of joy that bubbles quietly within all of us. through daily practice one can perfect a system of split second retreat from an uncomfortable and/or uninteresting world. the lines between ones eyes disappear, the limbs slacken in elegant élan and the cheeks are rosy and uplifted, as are ones mood and spirits. the shadows of the day gone by recede into oblivion and the face acquires a magnetic benevolence.

instructions: find a friendly and accommodating lap and place yourself in it belly up, thus inviting the belly rub that is essential to the precise execution of this asana. lie still and perform deep belly breathing. focus on finding the sweet spot and on keeping the distracted hand engaged and attentive. be patient and belly breathe away the hand’s ineptitude, if any. next, slacken the limbs and concentrate on guiding the hand with the power of your evident satisfaction. take ten more deep breaths…float away…