that lady from their call centre buzzed me again today. she assured me it was no trouble at all, giving me a call on sunday. she said it was the least they could do for such a privileged customer.
then she told me all about how much more attractive i’d be if only i would get myself one of their sensational new caller tunes. she argued long and hard for the rights of the sacred caller and emphasised how thoughtless it was of me to not make his calling experience the sixty most hummable seconds of his life. she waxed eloquent about how the tune would give him a sneak peek into my stunning personality and more or less seal the consequences of every conversation that followed. she almost had me convinced that not having a caller tune was beyond cruel, that it was a criminal waste of my dazzling potential, and probably the sole reason i live with two cats instead of a good man.
come to think of it, my mother takes a similar tack when i wear clothes she doesn’t approve of. she takes it very personally. much like the vodaphone lady did when i held my ground on the ring tone. it will be much better than your current tring-tring, she insisted.
i told her i didn’t see how unless i called myself. i thought this was a very clever response. in fact i just about held back the ‘ha!’ at the end.
but i had grossly underestimated this vodaphone evangelist, this revolutionary of caller rights and the rest of my telephonic lifetime. she tsk-ed a bit over how i had missed the whole point. then she took a deep breath and started again at the beginning. slowly this time, just to make sure i caught up and kept pace. a good start is always good, madam, she explained, don’t you want to say hello to a person who is in a good mood?
it took awhile before i managed to get off the phone without subscribing to caller tunes. i honestly see no reason to let people enjoy barging into my day any more than they already do. i feel this way despite the nice lady who gave up her sunday for my cause and despite the concerned vodaphone staff who selected me specially for her attentions.
what can i say, i’m a completely selfish little pimple that way.
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