Thursday, February 12, 2009

dear chaddi rani,

you are right, we must thank the chaddi for so sizzlingly defending our right to drink beer. it's the one thing that makes for better reading than what the sriram sene did. besides, it clearly establishes their utter un-coolness in the face of our uber smartness. what a witty way to say fuck you and to get the press to quote us doing it too. bravo. the press loves it, so it must be a fantastic plan.

fact is, the press is just peeing itself in delight at being presented with this bonanza. just when they thought they'd milked the story for all it was worth, the chaddi flew to their rescue. fact is, the sriram sene got them all agog before the chaddi. and in case you missed yesterday's juicy tid bit, the press is currently talking about muthalik's even wittier response. for every 'sister' that sends him pink chaddis, he's got pink saris and a fruit basket as well. we must have shamed him indeed for him to make such an uncharacteristically civilized response to our symbolic honor so rudely flung at him. (or am i being too presumptuous in crediting the pink chaddi with such deep significance?)

it's certainly got the people talking even more. hell, we must surely worry about that in a country were 'log baaten karenge' is usually the first ace up the moral guardian's sleeve. we must not sneak around like teenagers any longer…hey, we are old enough to act like them now! we must break our 'silence' and really give them something to talk about. we must scare the pants off the criminal by terrifyingly waving our chaddis in his face.

do you honestly believe a politician hasn't seen and done much worse? didn't his able demonstration of that start this off in the first place? will he crumble under the sheer cheekiness of it all?

get real. something is NOT better than nothing. more talk is NOT better than talk. a pink chaddi and a glass of beer say no more, nor any better than muthalik's pink saris and fruit basket. we have a bigger problem than a woman's right to drink and not get thrashed. let us not wear our 'loose, pub going, forward' label like a bloody badge. i'd be willing to bet that the sriram sene and their ilk do not get the irony in that. and let us not pat ourselves on the back and go out for a drink on valentine's. not yet.

is muthalik behind bars? has he turned over a new leaf? the sriram sene is one symptom of a cancer that rots our guts in india. a mythical ideal who stood back and let the will of his people be done to his wife. he is still a part of us today as is his mud slinging 'loyal subject'. today they are more brutal still because they say the women have crossed the limits of our 'cultural values'. they get away with it still, and the women, they still disappear underground.

he is a very busy man, muthalik. he has cases to appear in court for, from before the mangalore incident, and he has more evil to dispense. make no mistake. send him no 'love'. this is not the time to play right into the terrorist's machiavellian hands. this is not the time to get our chaddis in a twist and our meaning twisted.

is irreverence going to be our hard line response to terrorism? because that is what this is. why do we think getting cute is an apt/appropriate reaction to the obscene act of violence he got away with and flaunts with pride? it's time we call a terrorist a terrorist and make sure we put him where the sun doesn't shine.

and it's a little early to celebrate our 15 mins of fame, or worse, mistake this for a solution. it's time we go shopping wholesale for pepperspray and waste neither our breath nor our cash on muthalik. then we can have a drink and go lingerie shopping, sure.

ps: idiot

5 comments:

Champion Kickah said...

Is Western civilization more advanced than ours? The simple truth is, yes. Their judiciaries work, their people don’t shit on the road and barring perhaps IIT and Vellore Medical College, their education system is better. Their economic system is far superior than the license raj. They’re currency is stronger and their buildings and urban planning is miles ahead. In art and culture, they are a few decades ahead.

Politicians like Sri Ram Nene and Raj Thackeray know this. But they also know that a sizeable section of their votebank doesn’t understand this because they are poor and illiterate. Their only reaction to western films and western clothing is anger. And they conveniently forget all the advantages they have over us and focus on that one last bastion where stone age countries will forever hold sway over developed nations – morality.

It is the same politics played out in Afghanistan and Pakistan by the Taliban. Wherever there are poor, hungry and stupid people there will be parasites like Nene to take advantage of them.

To get to a guy like Nene, you have to use his strongest weapon against him. His moral highground. If these dumb panty-flinging bitches had any sense, they ought to try and shakedown this guy Nene and see if there is any history of wrongdoing within his family/ ranks. I’m a hundred percent sure this guy is no saint. Investigate him and his party thoroughly and you will find nefarious deals, whoring, smuggling, vote-rigging and hopefully something a little juicier like a kept woman, illegitimate child, homosexuality. Blow that out of proportion. Destroy the fucker’s moral standing and his social status. Use the power of words intelligently. Ruthlessly. Rather than in this lah-di-dah girly way. It is useless and the only thing it will get them is a picture in a back page of Mid Day or Delhi Times.

mentalie said...

now there's an idea!

mentalie said...

just one thing, the chaddi campaign is not a lah di da girlie idea. it's plain stupid.

Champion Kickah said...

i concur

ujwala said...

Gr8 blog... The Mythical Ideal stuff you spoke about - I so agree, it has sort of always irked me.

And I completely agree with Champion Kickah too...

Guess too late a comment but I'm a recent fan of urs so if at all you check... ;)

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