Monday, March 1, 2010

kicking butt in dilli



i moved into a sweet little flat at hauz khas village in dilli this weekend.

my landlady happens to be the local don and her 5000w voice begins to crack like a cannon across the rooftops at 6am:


TU SEEDI SAAF KAR RAHI HAI KE DHOOL MAL RAHI HAI? she booms at the quivering maid who trips over herself to make the stairway sparkle. 


TAMATAR BECHE HAI KE SONA?! she roars at the soft spoken vegetable man.


MUJHKO JAWAB DETA HAI! BADE PAR NIKAL AAYE HAIN TERE! she bellows at some foolhardy soul who has had the temerity to talk back. 

i've been here 24 hours now, and my landlady’s mighty roar has drowned away my laptop’s tinny tenor to become the soundtrack of my weekend. 


oddly enough, i'm finding it deeply comforting.

HAAIN??? TUJHE KOI AANKH UTHAKE TOH DEKE!, she exploded when i enquired how safe it was around these parts, YE DEKH MERI RIFLE! GOLLI SE UDA DOONGI!

i'm sure the neighbourhood was listening, along with everyone else within the NCR region. 


it made me feel very, very special.

the way the bug eyed villagers warily watched me this morning added greatly to my swagger as i strode out to the tapri for tea. they peeked like mice from behind walls and windows and doorways. when i looked back, their eyes blinked and skittered away. the ones i met along the narrow lane swerved and disappeared up gullies and stairways. and the one man i happened to brush against leapt back like he’d been scalded. ‘s-s-s-sorry mai-dam!’ he squeaked and ran away.

honestly, i don’t believe i’ve ever managed to elicit this degree of rank terror in all my 32 years.

yup, i’m wearing my bovver boots like i mean it from now on, my friends,

they are no longer just a survival tactic.

i'm feeling dangerous.



image source: www.aryanwear.com

26 comments:

Ketan said...

Just pray, she's not experimentalie sexual! ;)

Atrisa said...

LOL! That doesn't sound like Delhi at all, the men bit. The woman must be apni Punjab di Sherni ;)

blunt edges said...

lol...a rockstar landlady u got there! :D

mentalie said...

@ketan, you seem to have no fear...but HUSH please, before she gets you with her gun!!

@atrisa, yes, i wouldn't have believed it myself, but i am fast learning that if there's one thing more deadly than dilli de munde, it's the hoary haryanvi jatni who's adopted me *smirk*

mentalie said...

@blunt, you bet ;)

The Cloudcutter said...

You're feeling dangerous and I'm feeling sad! You moved to Delhi? Why?

mentalie said...

moved to dilli because of the new job, CC. might stay awhile for random reasons. listen to the 'song of free' as dubbed by soin. you might like it :)

R said...

Glory be! Women in Delhi will finally feel safe.

Choco said...

Hahaa..I like to listen to loud women roaring in the background too. I don't know why..
What was it that scared the men again?

soin said...

ha i love old loud women.they generally tend to cook well.and that song of free-this is from an utterly brilliant album by ilayaraja-how to name it.each piece is a gem that can get you slitcha high.and if this post was meant to make us churn with envy it does its job to a small extent.i heard a lot about this place.should visit.but the place i live is safely rural ..and ur reply to chetan bhagath..naice..free

Perakath said...

Have they finished the work on Aurobindo Marg yet? I miss Dalli so!

soin said...

btw you got my twitter handle wrong and linked it to a poor finance fella..hopefully he wil stalk you from now on..free

ki said...

hee hee :D now you're safe from all the gali ka goondas :D

p.s. I did NOT know you're going to be staying! For how long?!

Notmanish said...

try delaying the rent for few days n witness who is the firing line ;)

Jil Jil Ramamani said...

Hawwesome! It's like having your very own parsi lady from mumbai:D

Scattered Thoughts... said...

:)

ani_aset said...

whattt? it happened in hauz khas village you said? daim daim i don believe it :P

Anil P said...

Haha. The nuclear effect.

Why do we need the bombs to counter Pak. Ten souls like your landlady will suffice. :-)

Anupama said...

Now that's what I call real empowerment for women...Go Mentalie and God bless your landlady!

Watch the shoes :)

Eveline said...

Amen, Sista! There's a moral here...somewhere. Perhaps it's be careful who you piss off on the road...you might have some Tough Landlady on your tail.

I wouldn't mess with you!! :D

Kavitha said...

Whattay bodyguard!!!

mentalie said...

@R, amen!

@choco, why don't you try roaring and find out ;)

@soin, damn, my apologies for not getting your twitter handle right. i have heard some of the pieces from 'how to name it' but didn't know abt the album until now. thank you very, very much for introducing me to it!

@perakath, am not sure if the powers that be have finished with aurobindo marg...from what i've seen of the roadways until now, probably not!

@ki, yep, am safe as a bug in a rug i think :) no clue how long i'll stay...

@notmanish, i'm not half as foolhardy as you seem to think!

@jil jil, except my godmother's got a gun, baby!

@ani, i swear!

@anil_p, what an excellent idea. the ensuing sonic boom should sort out the nuclear crisis forever.

@anupama, danke, my friend.

@eve, just so you know, i'll make an exception for you ;)

@kavita, whattay cracker deal, i say!

@

NIM said...

Lol...So u don't have to worry about security.. :D
Funny stuff :p

This is that said...

Oh so you are going to be living in the dally!!!! I thought it was just a holiday..god I dont know what to feel anymore. But hell ya !! auntyjee sounds very dally..hainji ?

amrutha bushan said...

:D

Jil Jil Ramamani said...

Blog. Blog Blog. Blog.

last word by the acp

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