Tuesday, April 6, 2010

36F


my very dear and very pregnant friend and i visited mothercare at ambi mall last thursday. it was the kind of work day that demanded a nice calming stroll through the shopping arcade and there was also the matter of procuring some specially constructed mommy to be lingerie.

the first thing you notice about mothercare’s collection of pregnancy fashions is that it is built big and designed to grow bigger. the bras are bolstered with wings and awnings and start at size cannon ball. the size 8 underwear unfolds into a blousy house dress, while the magnificent size 20 unfurls like gigantic sails across your arms. then you stretch and just when you think you can fit noah’s arc in, it miraculously gives a little more.

yup, as engineering marvels go, you’d be hard pressed to find anything more spectacular and more down right pragmatic as maternity underwear. sure, it makes the odd exception for print and lace, but the foundation and most impressive aspect of its architecture is without doubt the infinitely accommodating waistband.

personally, stretchlon maternity waistbands are one of the scariest things i’ve ever seen. on the one hand, they propose the distinct possibility of getting that fat. on the other hand, they seemed to taunt me with their roominess. acres and meters of them billowed judgmentally down at my washboard chest and bony butt. no cleavage, the bras noted like well padded aunties as i walked by wonderingly. the expandable waist jeans shied away from my shapeless belly. the maternity gowns drooped in depression at my miserable hips. 


even the sales staff gave me a wide berth.

i hadn’t felt like such a freak in a long time.

that is, until i finally found a bra that fit.

:)




10 comments:

Atrisa said...

How about a stretch marks removal cream dispenser too?

ki said...

ha ha ha ha ha :D i'm sure they weren't too pleased with your new fashion idea :P

mentalie said...

@atrisa, mothercare mommies don't get stretch marks. they only sell stretchmarks prevention products.

mentalie said...

@ki, you never know...if they are fashion forward enough, my friend and i could have triggered next season's hottest trend :)

blunt edges said...

lol...n when i read the title of this post on my blog lisy=t...the first thought that came 2 my mind was "boy that's huge" ;)

happy u got atleast something 2 cheer about ;)

Sangfroid said...

At a cursory glance, insightful & profound :)

Will revisit to take a deep-dive :D

soin said...

given the shit that comes on tv and theatre these days,this if fashion with a purpose.free

oRange* said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahhahaha!
I'm laughing! I'm still laughing!
That was saaxy! Fashion statement :D

Flickering Cursor said...

Had to google the title for better coherence. Then I was like 36WTF!

R said...

See, this is where our energy drink brand should be talking to people.

last word by the acp

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