36F

my very dear and very pregnant friend and i visited mothercare at ambi mall last thursday. it was the kind of work day that demanded a nice calming stroll through the shopping arcade and there was also the matter of procuring some specially constructed mommy to be lingerie.

the first thing you notice about mothercare’s collection of pregnancy fashions is that it is built big and designed to grow bigger. the bras are bolstered with wings and awnings and start at size cannon ball. the size 8 underwear unfolds into a blousy house dress, while the magnificent size 20 unfurls like gigantic sails across your arms. then you stretch and just when you think you can fit noah’s arc in, it miraculously gives a little more.

yup, as engineering marvels go, you’d be hard pressed to find anything more spectacular and more down right pragmatic as maternity underwear. sure, it makes the odd exception for print and lace, but the foundation and most impressive aspect of its architecture is without doubt the infinitely accommodating waistband.

personally, stretchlon maternity waistbands are one of the scariest things i’ve ever seen. on the one hand, they propose the distinct possibility of getting that fat. on the other hand, they seemed to taunt me with their roominess. acres and meters of them billowed judgmentally down at my washboard chest and bony butt. no cleavage, the bras noted like well padded aunties as i walked by wonderingly. the expandable waist jeans shied away from my shapeless belly. the maternity gowns drooped in depression at my miserable hips. 


even the sales staff gave me a wide berth.

i hadn’t felt like such a freak in a long time.

that is, until i finally found a bra that fit.

:)