Friday, May 14, 2010

pliz evakvate!

cyber city, gurgaon is a gleaming futuristic citadel rising out of a dust bowl. 

the skyline is cluttered with eclectic angles of glass and chrome megaliths. the buildings rear up fearsomely from the honking traffic jams. the wind hoots eerily through the open panels of construction sites. corporate towers gleam from behind the dusty whirlwind that blows about them through the day. 

it is possibly one of the most weird and fantastical landscapes you could ever to go to work to.

in that sense, it’s much like it’s people.

they gather like pigeons along the walls and walkways after lunch. let’s go get some fresh air, they say, and troop out of their buildings to roost on the concrete surrounding a tiny oasis of landscaped green lawn.

nobody dares to sit on the grass, and the ones that do are instantly shooed away by the vice president in charge of jay walkers and dog poo.

managing cyber city is a very important job. every official on that team is a vice president at the very least.

some are even managing directors, like the cyber city official in charge of fire safety.

this impressive gentleman recently organized one of the most spectacular events i’ve ever been to. it began with a shrill fire alarm and two hypnotically repeated words:

beep beep beep

pliz evakvate!

beep beep beep

pliz evakvate!

beep beep beep

pliz evakvate!

within a matter of minutes, the managing director of fire drills held his audience of a few thousand employees from surrounding buildings mesmerized. they squinted up at him en masse against the blazing sun.

the managing director did not disappoint us. in addition to his quivering walrus moustache, he presented a long and complex thesis on how to identify the different kinds of fire extinguishers, and executed several spectacularly choreographed demos on the right and wrong way to use them. he gave us a show that even the russian circus could never rival, and he did this with the able assistance of two mentally challenged prop boys who single mindedly focused on getting their fire extinguishers wrong, or holding them upside down. as a grand finale, a firetruck full of fire men charged in and incontinently sprayed a few gallons of water onto the crowd.

together, they worked the crowd like pros – a giggle that grew into a laugh that grew into a roar, then an encore.

all along, a man in a silver space suit stood silently by the md’s side. when the drill ended, everyone queued up to take pictures with the mystery man. nobody knew why he was there, nor who he was for that matter. 

he could have been the vice president of silver spacesuits, of course. 

or he could have simply dropped out of the sky like cyber city itself.

image source: just in case you didn't notice, please read the picture again.


As the Mind Meanders said...

Oh! This brings back memories

My first job. My first fire drill.

The sound of a fire alarm, enraged for being woken up by stale agarbattis, howling through the corridors.


The chap in charge of security.

In an earnestly bored voice trained by years of bureaucracy, muttering under his breath, sleepwalking through the corridors....

"Faaiare Faaiare. Run. Run."

Choco said...

Ahh Gal..Not just Gurgaon... I think it is more about a certain industry... Anywhere.. Anyplace...

blunt edges said...

ROFL at the "image source" bit!!!

n about the post, well u could very well have been working in my office n u would have had the exact same experience!

the fire-drill, the false alarms, the pain in the a$$, all ditto!

Anupama said...

My memory of fire drills is going to be limited to false fire 'alarams' and the voice of our MD of fire drills - 'Emplayis pliss do nat panick, it is a false alaram, pliss continue with yuvar work'

Atrisa said...

I know! Fire drill a my second job. We were in splits! Haha, don't we all just love those men who demonstrate the dont's! :D

mentalie said...

@amm, wow, i had no idea this was such a common phenomenon! i also see from all the comments that the fire MCs always seem to have a unique turn of phrase. in your case, a whistle as well. i wish we could all compile a fire alarm sound track...

@choco, yeah, as i'm finding out now! strangely enough, i've never been to a fire drill before.

@blunt, apparently all of us work at the same office. we should all do lunch sometime.

@anupama, what accent is that??? i LOVE it.

@atrisa, yep. the fire drill was a completely unexpected bonanza in the middle of a very dull day :)

Mathangi said...

HAHAHAHAHH! It sounds like the opening scene of a crime thriller! Come come write a story now.

Sangfroid said...


Fire drills are opportunities to run back home pretending it was for real :D

So did you pose with the mystery man too? :P

Anupama said...

That's the local Kannadiga English for you straight from Bangalore :)

Eveline said...

I think we had the same management in charge of the fire drill in our company.
Of course a visit by them kicked things off for all my co-workers on a boring week day. One thing we learned for sure was how to make stretchers using men's trousers. Hard to say which was the coolest.

mentalie said...

@mato, i don't need to write thrillers, i currently live in one. the adrenaline's addling my brains.

@sangfroid, i'd have done exactly what you suggested, except that my office cabbie was at the frigging fire drill too! and no, i did not pose with the man in the silver space suit. his tux was probably radioactive.

@anupama, how attractive. i must consider moving there instead :)

@eve, definitely the men who kept their trousers on ;)

et said...

beep beep beep
pliz evakvate!

Honestly I cant relate to the core concept of the post, but I liked THAT! :D

mentalie said...

@et, perhaps it reminds of the good old days on your spaceship :D

soin said...

in a place we were doing intern,fire drill. my friend tells me not to panic it was just him smoking in the

R said...

Maybe there's a reason the fire alarm makes the woman say what she says that has me in splits every time.

*falls off the chair laughing*

mentalie said...

hahaha, soin, i have a job for your friend...

@R, me too!

ani_aset said...

hehe looks like its same everywhere with these drills. I remember when we had the drill the keys for emergency exit didn work :P

last word by the acp